Friday, August 6, 2010

Friday Confessions


Loneliness can be a very profound feeling. Being alone is also profound...but a choice.

I honestly don't know if I could stand to live alone. I went from living with my mother, into marriage at 18, having a child, then divorced but not alone...having a beautiful child with me most of the time. I married Madley when Little Indy was small...

We've been married for 27 years.

I am used to having people around me almost constantly. I am never lonely.

Writing has this way of spiriting me away into a world where I am alone...but I feel like I always have an audience. Even if no one reads what I write, I know I am not alone. I believe God is always with me.

I cherish my time alone, though it is very scarce. When I steal away and curl up and read, it is as if I have managed some feat against nature. If no one interrupts me, I wonder, why? Are they all really leaving me alone?

Lately, I've been purposely curling up in a chair with my blanket and taking a nap...most days. I make sure everyone is okay with me taking a short time out...and I fall fast asleep within minutes. Sometimes I only sleep for 15 minutes, sometimes an hour and a half.

When I wake up, my family is happy to have me back in their world. It's like I've been transported to some other world where they can't come, and they worry I may not return...

But I always return. And I make them dinner with the back of my hair fuzzy from sleeping in a chair...and my mascara a bit smudged.



4 comments:

  1. I lived alone for five months when I moved to Georgia and my daughter stayed with my mom in Buffalo to finish the school year. It was glorious.

    I would love to live alone. Maybe I will again someday ...

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  2. Renee, I think I would be fine. I'm actually sure I would be...

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  3. Ah, a nap... that sounds heavenly.

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  4. I lived alone during my senior year in college. I loved it, but don't want to do it again any time soon. I would really miss my husband and daughter.

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