Thursday, June 17, 2010

Truths For Mature Humans

My oldest brother sent this to me~

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're  wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was a kid.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5, I'm pretty sure I know how to  get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes  a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything  productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my  collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do Not Machine Wash" or "Tumble dry" means I will never wash this -  ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?  Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing  option.

20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I  first saw it.

21. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.

26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too  far.

29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate  bicyclists.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding  their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my Aunt Bessy's mule everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

I think these were written by a guy... just my opinion :)


  1. Stopping by from SITS to say hello! Love your blog...I'm have The Sickness (horse addiction) too. I also live in WA but on the dry side - though I grew up on the wet side.

  2. Thanks! I love it here! Yes...horses are wonderful.

  3. This was the funniest thing I've read in a long time! We're sitting here cracking up!!! Thanks, Lindy!

  4. So true. So true. I only take offense with #29. I would amend it to say, " and as a bicyclist, I hate cars." :)


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